Start Line Characters: A Field Guide to the People You'll Ride With at the Fondo
Photo: Couch-scratching-cats, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons
Show up to any mass-start cycling event in America and close your eyes. Listen. There's the hiss of floor pumps, the click of cleats on pavement, and about 400 conversations happening at once. Open your eyes and you'll see it: the same cast of characters, every single time, in every state, at every fondo.
The MSU Gran Fondo is no different. Consider this your field guide.
1. The Gear Savant
You'll identify this person by the toe covers, the power meter on both cranks, and the fact that they've asked you three times whether you're running tubeless. Their bike weighs less than their dog. They have opinions — strong ones — about ceramic bearings, tire pressure, and the aero penalty of your water bottle placement.
Here's the thing, though: half of what they know is genuinely useful, and they're happy to share it. Need a chain lubed, a derailleur tuned, or a pre-ride pressure recommendation? The Gear Savant is your person. Just don't ask about their budget.
2. The 67-Year-Old Climbing Machine
Somewhere around mile 50, as the road pitches up and the field shatters, you will get passed. Gracefully, steadily, almost silently. It will be a rider with silver hair, a decades-old jersey, and a smile that says they've been doing this since before you were born.
Do not be fooled by the casual kit. This person has ridden every climb in a 100-mile radius, multiple times, in every season. They know where every switchback breaks. If you're smart, you'll tuck in behind them and learn something. If you're smarter, you'll say hi at the top.
3. The First-Timer on a Walmart Bike
This is the heart and soul of every fondo, no exceptions. They signed up on a whim. Their bike came from a big-box store, weighs a small car, and has a suspension fork that eats watts for breakfast. They might be wearing running shoes with the pedals.
And they will finish. Maybe not fast. Maybe walking a couple of the steepest pitches with a grin on their face. But they will cross that line, and when they do, the crowd noise will be for them as much as anyone. Every veteran at the finish remembers being this person once. Buy them a burger at the after-party.
4. The Group Ride General
They rolled up with seven friends in matching kits, and they've organized every detail — the carpool, the dinner reservation, the photo at the start line. On the road, they call out potholes, control the pace line, and make sure nobody in the group gets dropped.
Every fondo needs them. They're the social glue, the safety net, and the reason half the riders around you signed up in the first place. Thank a General today.
5. The Silent Grinder
No group. No small talk. They started near the back, they're passing people at a metronomic pace, and they will still be riding strong when the sun gets low. You will not learn their name. You will remember them forever.
Why We Show Up Anyway
Here's the secret the pro peloton will never understand: gran fondos aren't really about the racing. They're about this weird, wonderful temporary village — the Savant tuning a stranger's brakes, the Climbing Machine encouraging a first-timer up the last hill, the General herding everyone to the finish-line photo.
One hundred miles is a long way. It's a lot shorter when you're sharing it with characters like these. We'll see you at the start line — whatever kind of rider you are.